Disagreeing Without Cancelling: How Should Christians Respond to the Alistair Begg Controversy?

If you have spent any time on the internet recently, you are probably aware of the controversy surrounding Alistair Begg’s advice that a grandmother attend her son’s wedding to a transgendered person. After his comments start circulating online, Begg faced a storm of criticism and his radio program was removed from American Family Radio. Subsequently, Begg addressed criticisms in a sermon. More recently, he has been removed from the Shepherd’s Conference.

While I don’t agree with Begg’s position, I’ve been saddened at how the controversy has played out. The whole episode gives us an occasion to consider how we conduct disagreement in the body of Christ. When Christians have contrary convictions, how do we publicly express them in such a way that there is minimal collateral damage to the kingdom of God?

Before I offer a few initial reflections, I should first explain why I disagree with Begg.

What is a Wedding?

What I appreciate about Begg’s intention (or what I assume are his intentions) is the desire for compassion and hospitality. Indeed, we should be eager to build relationships with our LGBTQ friends: to practice hospitality, to be a good neighbor, to reflect the love of Christ in any way that we can.

However, we must also give consideration to the larger ontological structure of marriage. A wedding is a spiritual union in which God is the primary actor. Jesus says, “what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). At a wedding, God is creating a new, spiritual reality through the union of one man and one woman.

Traditionally, attendance at a wedding ceremony been seen as a form of support. Whenever I officiate weddings, for example, I involve the participants—I discuss our role of supporting them, I encourage us to pray for the couple, and so forth. Sometimes there will be a specific time in the ceremony to pray for God’s blessing on their union. Sometimes (though I don’t personally do this) there will be an occasion for vocal dissent from the union, if anyone has a reason for why the marriage should not take place.

So for Christians who don’t believe that a legitimate expression of marital union is actually taking place when the wedding does not involve one man and one woman, attendance (and the participation it implies) becomes a conscience issue.

How Do We Disagree?

But here I want to address how we navigate disagreements about such matters in the body of Christ. The disagreement in question is not about affirming gay marriage. It’s about a specific, more prudential question: how should Christians who maintain a traditional understanding of marriage function in a society that is increasingly abandoning it? In the circumstance Begg was addressing, for example—a grandmother-to-grandchild relationship in which the grandmother’s conviction is clearly known—is attendance at a gay or transgender wedding ceremony ever permissible?

While I come to a different conviction about this than Begg, his position should not discount his decades of faithful ministry. Yet many responses portray him as fundamentally compromised or untrustworthy, or as himself a proponent of gay marriage. While it’s perfectly appropriate for people to articulate their disagreement, the wholesale denunciations and cutting of ties seem reflective of a broader dysfunction in how Christians express disagreement. Unfortunately, “cancel culture” is increasingly common in the church as well as the world. Especially in disagreements that play out over the internet, we often display a reactive, “all-or-nothing” mentality that ultimately reduces the other person to our disagreement with them—even a disagreement on a secondary or tertiary matter.

We desperately need to retain and cultivate the ability to say, “I disagree with so-and-so on issue X, but they are still my brother or sister in Christ, and so our disagreement takes place in this larger context.”

Could fruitful Christian leaders of the past survive the climate we are currently creating? Would John Stott be cancelled for his views on annihilationism? What about C.S. Lewis for his rejection of biblical inerrancy? Or Dietrich Bonhoeffer for his views on the historicity of Gen. 2-3?

I am not minimizing the importance of these various issues. Nor am I saying, “lets just be nice and not talk about our disagreements.” But if the disagreement is with a true Christian, the way we disagree must be constrained by that reality.

What does healthy Christian disagreement look like? It’s not formulaic, and I don’t have all the answers, but here are a few ideas that might be worth considering right now.

1) Breaking From Public Disagreement on Sundays

Some of the most heated battles among Christians take place on Twitter on Sunday, even Sunday morning. I wonder if the enemy can use this to distract us from that time in our weekly rhythm that should be especially set aside for rest and worship. What if we took a break from our feuds on the Lord’s Day, and instead committed to worship, prayer, and rest?

I cannot bind anyone else’s conscience on a prudential matter like this, but I am making a personal decision to avoid engaging in public disagreement on Sundays, and I would invite others to consider whether something similar might be fruitful in their own lives.

2) Cultivating a Culture of Honor

Our words and actions create on overall culture. The New Testament calls to a culture of honor (Romans 12:10) and gentleness (Galatians 6:1). This does not mean we avoid accountability or criticism as necessary. There is a place for public rebuke (e.g., I Timothy 5:20), including of leaders (Gal. 2:11).

Nonetheless, we need to give consideration to the overall culture we are creating in the church right now, especially for our leaders. More than ever before, pastors and other church leaders are operating in a climate of suspicion. According to a recent polling, less than 1/3 Americans rate clergy as honest and ethical. Relatedly, pastors are increasingly discouraged.

Again, legitimate criticism must be allowed. But the overall trajectory of our culture is such that distrust toward clergy (and distrust toward institutions and leaders generally) is multiplying. This is bad for us all. The entire body of Christ benefits when our leaders flourish.

So when we engage in criticism, we do well to ask: what is the overall culture I am contributing to with my words?

3) Showing Love Amidst Disagreement

One reason love is so important is that the world watches how we disagree with each other. Jesus taught that “by this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Further, he prayed for our unity so that the world would believe in him (John 17:21).

In a recent podcast, Trevin Wax drew attention to Francis Schaeffer’s comment on this teaching of Christ: “Jesus here gives the world a right to do something on the basis of his own authority. He gives the world a right to judge whether you and I are born-again Christians on the basis of whether we show love to all Christians.”

Looking at how the controversy surrounding Alistair Begg’s comments played out, and the net effect it had, it is worth asking: how is this coming across to non-Christians who are watching us?

Again, love does not mean refraining from disagreement. But when we are engaging in public disagreement with a brother or sister in Christ, we should give consideration to its broader effect on the credibility of the gospel.

Charles Spurgeon gives us a good model of this. Discussing his disagreement with George Herbert, he writes:

“Where the Spirit of God is there must be love, and if I have once known and recognized any man to be my brother in Christ Jesus, the love of Christ constraineth me no more to think of him as a stranger or foreigner, but a fellow citizen with the saints. Now I hate High Churchism as my soul hates Satan; but I love George Herbert, although George Herbert is a desperately High Churchman. I hate his High Churchism, but I love George Herbert from my very soul, and I have a warm corner in my heart for every man who is like him. Let me find a man who loves my Lord Jesus Christ as George Herbert did and I do not ask myself whether I shall love him or not; there is no room for question, for I cannot help myself; unless I can leave off loving Jesus Christ, I cannot cease loving those who love him…. I will defy you, if you have any love to Jesus Christ, to pick or choose among His people.”[1]

In the years and decades ahead, we will likely face many more complicated questions of what Christian faithfulness looks like in our society. We will not always agree. But if we have a “warm corner” in our hearts for all the sheep of Christ, even our disagreements can honor Christ and commend the gospel to those around us who so desperately need it.

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[1] Charles Spurgeon, Sermon 668, “Unity in Christ,” in The Complete Works of C. H. Spurgeon, vol. 12: Sermons 668 to 727 (Cleveland, OH: Pilgrim, 2013).